Yo-Yo

Two days ago, I wrote about dreams. Just before writing that post, I emailed the appropriate people and told them that I was ready to pursue going to a hospital in Cameroon - the only hospital that had responded to my inquiries. Based on schedules and timing and various factors, I had planned to make a decision on Tuesday evening, so that things could start moving on Wednesday morning.

On Wednesday morning, I exchanged one or two emails with the student missions coordinator people at WWU, and they sent off a request to the doctor in Cameroon to let them know that I had decided to come, and to confirm that it was still an option. There's nothing like getting a big, tough decision settled.

However, that lovely settled feeling didn't last long at all. About 20 minutes after the request was sent to the doctor in Cameroon, i received an email from the doctor in Chad. He had been led to believe that the evacuation notice for US citizens had been lifted. Therefore, he was wondering if I was still open to coming. At this point you may recall, if you read my last post, that going to Chad was basically my favorite dream. One source described Bere as "a true ends of the earth bush hospital." That is EXACTLY what I want, and exactly the kind of place that I want to go. So, with that information, you will not be surprised to learn that I immediately responded to his email with an enthusiastic affirmative.

After a few more emails, it was really looking good for being able to go to Chad. But that evening, there was one little email suggesting that the doctor in Chad may have received misinformation. At this point, it appears that that is the case, although no one seems to be able to confirm for sure. 

I've cried a lot more tears and felt a lot more emotions over going to Chad than I expected. There has been awe and wonder that everything was going to smoothly and easily. There has been curiousity and excitement and terror and thrill about moving to the middle of the bush on the other side of the world. There was shock and confusion when I found out that I couldn't go. There was sadness and frustration when I realized that I had to let go of my favorite dream. Yesterday, there was wild excitement at the prospect of going after all. And this morning, there was just plain disappointment.

So in some ways, I'm back to square one. I still don't know where I'm going or when. I'm waiting on some decisions and such that will take place next week and will determine whether I can go to Chad. In the mean time, I'm getting ready to go to Cameroon. I don't know how this is going to turn out. But I know it's going to be good. And just in case it's not....I just made a pear-cranberry pie to console myself. It's always good to be prepared, you know.